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I either feel everything, or I feel nothing

Depression is a terrible disease. Depression is complex and often invisible. Depression is silence. Depression is total isolation even when you’re surrounded by people. Depression is a feeling of loneliness and incomprehension that is so profound it chokes you. Depression is something unimaginable for anyone who hasn’t suffered it. Trying to put your thoughts into words when you know that not everyone around you feels the same, or even worse, when most of them are hoping you’ll change the subject. Showing every little bit of you, your deepest fears and receiving silence as an answer.

Depression is frustration. You feel nobody understand you, and believe me, that’s a very tough place to be in.

Our society is not very tolerant to suffering and feeling lost. So apart from having to deal with the beast of depression, you also have to fight the stigma that goes with it. That’s why it’s so very important to raise our voices, share our experiences and normalize the disease.

VIVUS is a series of mini documentaries by Mahogany that aims to raise awareness about mental health and the impact it has on people who work in the music business. The first documentary was about the Irish singer Rosie Carney. When we met Rosie last year we already knew she had struggled with mental illness, and the strength and honesty with which she spoke about it, were a true discovery for us. It’s the same strength that turns this little film into something incredibly necessary and brave.